Does Size Really Matter?

We asked two women to tell their views, stories, pet hates and much, much more……

Dear Doc, I have a very high standard for women. Only the best will do for me and I really don't like it but I guess it's because of the peer pressure. The better looking my girl is the cooler I am in their (my friend’s) eyes. Now the problem is that I can't find a hot girl that I like, that likes me back. I always get stuck in the friend position. How do I get them to like me, is there any special techniques I should know? Hello! There's nothing wrong with having high standards for women - the problem is that this usually means high standards in the looks department, not in the quality department. The fact is that most beautiful women aren't really great people; these "10's" are often "2's" in personality. You've done what 98% of all other guys have done, you haven't sat down to write out your goals and create a plan (yes really!).

I tell guys this all the time: you've got to sit down and create a relationship "plan". If you don't do this, you're just planning to fail. Here's why: It's very, very easy to use looks as the only "goal" in meeting women, and yes, this may look good to your peers. Remember however, that they don't necessarily find the same things attractive that you do. Thus, you may be trying to pick up a "9" or a "10" when your buddies consider her a "6" or a "7".
 
The other (more important) point about a plan is that you're probably not just looking for a face and/or body - you're looking for a package. How do you know what things in this package are important? You have to decide these things up front. By creating a plan, you're actually "crafting" the woman that fits. Once this plan is created and you're working it, you'll know right off the bat which ones are your "10's" and which one's aren't - the looks won't matter as much. Let's talk for a second about your self-image. Many people with self-image/self-esteem problems do what you do. I don't know you personally, so I can't say if this is true for you, but it's something to consider.
 
People with self-image problems actually do the opposite of what you'd think. You can image the guy with low self-esteem only approaching "4's", "5's" and the occasional "6". But, many do just the opposite - they only approach "10's". The reason for this is that their self-esteems make them believe that they won't get great women anyway, so they set themselves up to fail. They approach whom they consider to be the most difficult - and most likely women to say "no", thus fulfilling their expectations.
 
Again, the plan helps to counteract this. If you've created your plan and are working it, you'll instantly start seeing the possibilities in the women you approach, rather than the possible failures. You'll know which women are the right ones as soon as you talk to them and you'll spend your time there rather than on those you've that you're using to set yourself up to fail. Need help actually building a plan? Read, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" as it has three chapters dedicated to this all-important tool (available in the Mens-Network member area).
 
Once you get this plan in place, then you can start using all the usual tools you’re already learning through DI to “convert” her. The problem here isn’t in technique, it’s in your direction.
 
Good luck, much love...

Louisa Hamilton, 27, lives in Notting Hill and is a successful Accountant and is single.  Her passion is wine and men (in that order mates!-Ed) and has had over thirty partners.

"Sex is an extremely important part of my life- I find my job very stressful- the hours are very long-sex for me is a great release of tension and stress.  I don't have time for a relationship. At work I am in a high position of power, therefore I find it a great turn on to be taken charge of a man who is really confident about themselves and their body. Unfortunately many men don't posses this kind of confidence or the right size package.

Penis size is actually fairly important to me, which I suppose is quite sad.  Recently I slept with a man called Tom* who was lovely, good looking etc etc but had the smallest average penis I've ever seen-I laughed when I saw it-I just couldn't help myself. When it was all over I ended going into the bathroom and satisfying myself-not the ideal situation. However, I have had some successes with more average men, to a degree 'it is what you do with it'. On one occasion I met a man at a business conference-later that night the orgasm was incredibly intense.

I suppose it makes me sound quite shallow, but in my mind there is no point in having crap sex- I can quite happily satisfy myself if need be. In my experience men who are larger do make better lovers.  They possess a higher level of confidence-, which alone is much more of a turn on.  A partner who is confident within themselves and their body is more likely to know what he wants and be able to satisfy me. 

Length is not the most important factor for me, girth is.  I'll never forget Rob* who had at least a 8 inch penis, but it was the thinnest, weakest looking thing I'd ever seen-this was reflected in the short performance.  A good large girth usually means a stronger, more flexible penis.  This is reflected in the length and control a man displays during sex leading to greater satisfaction. Up to a point it is what you do with it- but if you do it with a large penis the results for me are greater and leave a lasting impression."

Helen Tatton, 31, also lives in Notting Hill.  She is a successful Barrister and lives with her boyfriend of 7 years.  She talks about how their relationship has been affected by sex…..

"Paul* and me have been together for what seems like ever.  We're very happy together- I don't think we will get married- the idea just doesn't appeal to us-we're happy as we are.  Not everything has always been so smooth though- it took a long time for our sex life to be up to standard!

When we first got together it became apparent fairly quickly that I had a much greater sex drive than Paul*- sometimes he simply wasn't " interested.  This began to affect the rest of our relationship- I began to doubt myself, his love and our trust.  Paul* simply wasn't interested and when he was lacked something. We both decided that something must be done- or our relationship would suffer further. We talked at great length about what the problem was- Paul* felt he wasn't confident enough or big enough.  I agreed he wasn't confident enough- but he was big enough-at 6.5 inches he was certainly ample. 

Paul* decided to take matters into his own hands (does she realize what's she's just said!-Ed) he declared that we couldn't have sex for a 4 week period.  In this time he began doing exercises to strengthen his penis-which in turn would give him more confidence.  At first, I do admit I had my doubts-it sounded almost sleazy and dodgy. But, my relationship was on the line here- I was willing to try anything to prevent losing the man that I loved. After the 4-week period, we resumed sexual activity.  The change in Paul* was amazing- his penis was a lot thicker and stronger looking. This change was reflected in his confidence level and his performance- we took the plunge and have never looked back.

Our sex life is now fantastic- I still don't know what exercises Paul* does - I don't want to- all I know is that they have changed our relationship.  I never thought that sex could have such a bearing on your life and relationships- I'm just glad we got it sorted before it was too late.

More Women Discuss Size